dearest son,

Maybe in another lifetime

I will meet you and 

be able to love you,

and looking at your beautiful eyes

lovingly, bravely

Maybe in another lifetime

finally I’ll be able to pay this debt

I carry every day, a burden of guilt

for loving myself more than you

Maybe in another lifetime

you wish to not see me anymore

And that’s okay too

I think I will never be

a good mother to you